The news said that I unleashed a pack of fierce dogs on my beloved uncle. Not true! I had him thrown into a pen of ravenous hogs. I’d seen that in an American movie, and was impressed. From a balcony above, I watched the hogs attack. It was much worse than the movie. I giggled, then looked at my underlings for their reactions. They looked away. They had no reactions. My beloved uncle should not have challenged me. He should not have criticized me. Did he think that because he dandled me on his knee, read me books and gave me hard candies (lemon, my favorite), that he would be immune to my wrath?
I play basketball with Dennis Rodman, one-on-one. He towers over me, yet I beat him. I’m going to stretch my body until I am as tall as him, perhaps taller. Then I’m going to America to play in the NBA. I ask D-Rod to take off his jewelry, the earrings and the nose rings that make him look like a bull. He hands them to me, and I put them on. I tell him that I won’t take them off. They will be my trademarks on the international scene, but D-Rod convinces me that it’s a bad idea. Doing so will damage my international street cred. D-Rod is a smart man. I may make him my Secretary of State or Secretary of War. In the meantime, he will train our best basketball players
I have the Hydrogen bomb. If I mix it with the Oxygen bomb, I will have the world’s most dangerous water balloon.